The Pondo Awards 2015

The Pondo Awards 2015

The prestigious Pondo Awards return for a second year.  With some genuinely brilliant films swamped in utter dirge the awards are plentiful this year, for the good, bad and downright ugly....

Best Film
1) Star Wars: The Force Awakens
2) The Martian
3) Mad Max: Fury Road

and the winner is......Here


Worst Film
1) Terminator Genysis
2) Hitman Agent 47
3) Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension
and the winner is.....Here

Best Actor
1) Michael Keaton: Birdman
2) Jake Gylenhaal: Southpaw
3) Matt Damon: The Martian
and the winner is.....Here

Best Actress
1) Julianne Moore: Still Alice
2) Alicia Vikander: Ex Machina
3) Charlize Theron: Mad Max :Fury Road
and the winner is.....Here

Best Soundtrack
1) Mad Max Fury Road
2) Kingsman
3) BTTF Trilogy

and the winner is.....Here





Best Animation
1) Big Hero 6
2) Spongebob
3) Inside Out
and the winner is.....Here

Best Nostalgia
1) BTTF
2) MP Holy Grail
3) BladeRunner

and the winner is.....Here





Best Horror
1) Unfriended
2) The Visit
3) The Town the Dreaded Sundown
and the winner is.....Here

Best Scene
1) Kingsman - Freebird in a Church (Graphic - you have been warned)
2) Star Wars: The Force Awakens: Po Dameron "What a pilot!" (Link will follow when available)
3) Sicario - Traffic Jam from Hell

and the winner is.....Here

Visually Stunning
1) Everest
2) Mad Max Fury Road
3) Star Wars VIII

and the winner is.....Here

Sleeper Hit
1) Chappie
2) Ex Machina
3) Unfriended
and the winner is.....Here

Worst Remake
1) Poltergiest
2) Jurassic World
3) Spectre

and the winner is.....Here





Best Bad Guy
1) Mad Max
2) Sicario
3) Star Wars: Episode VIII
and the winner is.....Here

Best Comic Book Adaptation
1) Kingsman
2) Avengers: Age of Ultron
3) Antman

and the winner is.....Here

Most Fun to be had
1) Fast & Furious 7
2) Mission Impossible 5: Rouge Nation
3) Ant Man

and the winner is.....Here

The Hermoine Granger School of Acting Award
1) Regression
2) Hitman Agent 47
3) Tomorrowland

and the winner is.....Here

Star Wars Episode VII : The Force Awakens

December 17th 2015 - Bolton - 00:05

Grauman's Chinese Theatre, LA, 1977.  Thousands of unaware fans lined up around the block to watch a new benchmark in cinematic history.  What they encountered was visual effects that rivalled anything they had seen before.  Mind's were blown away by what they had seen and the adventure that accompanied them spoke to the hearts of millions

Cineworld, Bolton, 2015.  With every seat taken and extra screens opened for the midnight screening of the next episode in the franchise that had been tarnished more than blessed, I sat in the midst of Star Wars t-shirts, hoodies and two guys who had taken it a little too far, thinking to myself....."Help us obi JJ Kenobi, you're our only hope".  I can say that just over two hours later I knew how the 1977 queuing masses felt, I had just been blown away by visual beauty, stunned by dog fights of mesmeric wonder, witnessed an adventure that had heart but I also had a sense that through all the nostalgia it seemed ever so familiar.  In fact, with hidden plans, super bases and helmeted villains it seemed very familiar indeed.

I am not one to give away any spoilers, and feel that Episode VII is something that most of the population will get some great enjoyment out of, so talking about the plot will be for another reviewer to do, for me this film was either going to go two ways

The way of the Jedi - realising what captured the imaginations of all the people who love and grew up with the original trilogy.  Understanding that fancy green screen effects and shiny CGI holds nothing without character and emotional connection.  Effects are there to increase the world's environment not to be the focal point.  In 1977, although the effects ILM created were mindbogglingly amazing for the time, they were limited and only used when necessary

The way of the Menace - back in 1999, just after Lucas had decided to butcher the original trilogy for the first time, I queued for the midnight screening of the phantom menace.  I remember leaving confused.  I should have loved it, but what was it about...and why? Plastic characters already resembling their Kenner counterparts, no depth and the most confusing and convoluted plot. Little thought put into story and characters. Instead of blowing me away, I felt like I had watched a cartoon.

The Force Awakens cannot hide from the fact that it is an almost replica of the first two film combined.  Note for note copies of plot points, character motivations and even a cantina (although missing a favourite amputee).  Yet, it has it's extra slices of brilliance thrown in for good measure.

I was fearful of the main character having attended the Hayden Christian School of acting as her first scene followed two acting greats Max Von Sydow and Oscar Isaac and she really didn't not hold up, but as the film progressed I slowly began to forgive her and as the character grew so did my compassion for her.

Thankfully, all though not perfect, JJ has created something magical again.  Reinvigorating the love of Star Wars that has always been with me but reliant on the strength of the first (chronologically) two and a half films. Thankfully there are now three and a half great Star Wars films, which put them in the majority!

Krampus

10 December 2015 - Bolton - 16:10

My wife asked me recently what films I would like to watch this Christmas on the run up to the festive day?  Thinking of the obvious ones like Muppets Christmas Carol, Elf, Home Alone, It's a Wonderful life etc, I discounted them and thought of the more traditional.  Die Hard 1 & 2 and Gremlins.

Gremlins is a fantastic Christmas film and one worth a watch every year.  It combines comedy, horror and festive times all into one nostalgic classic.  So imagine my surprise to see a new horror festive comedy hitting the screens this Christmas, Krampus.

When a young boy loses his belief a few days before Christmas due to family issues and the in-laws from Hell, a frozen desert descends upon his sleepy town isolating the feuding family from the rest of society.  What they originally think as a freak storm turns out to be an increasing nightmare of Anti-Christmas, CG filled torment.

What it fails to do primarily is give you character to like so the terror they are facing is "terrible".  I cannot say I actually cared about any of the family, possibly Omi, but she had a dark past that made her unbearable too.

The creatures that bring forth Krampus, doing his dirty work before he arrives, are laughably rubbish.  The Gingerbread trio look like something out of a Warner Brother Cartoon and should be battling Wile Coyote rather than in a mainstream film.  

That aside, there are some practical effects in the film as well, mainly the Krampus character, when not leaping from roof to roof.  However, this just makes it stand out more against the cartoon-esque harbingers.

I think I will be sticking to the Joe Dante Christmas this year for my Crimbo Horror Comedy film

The Lady in the Van

5th December 2015 - Bolton - 15:20

Knowing little of Alan Bennett, but a big fan of Maggie Smith, I wanted to see this adaption of the play and book as soon as I saw the trailer.

Quintessentially British through and through, The Lady in the Van is a beautiful story of some true nature.  When the transient Mrs Shepherd parks her van on the playwrights driveway after being threatened by the council, what follows is 15 years of cantankerous behaviour and a friendship of bizarre qualities

This needs to be an oscar nomination for both Maggie Smith and Alex Jennings as two Alan Bennetts.  Both parts play off each other perfectly and I found myself laughing and smiling along with the unfolding story.  Nothing much happens for the full running time, but the characters on screen are engaging.  Even side characters such as the residents of the street who all become fond of Mrs Shepherd, despite her constant abuse, or the social worker assigned to helping her are all very entertaining

For someone who is unfamiliar with the stage play, book or pretty much anything Bennett, the Lady in the Van had little new to offer, the finale was obvious and the story in between tick all the same tropes.  What this film had to offer though was character and charm, a charm that brings you along for the ride (or park as it may be) and entertains you throughout,

The Good Dinosaur (3D)

Saturday 28th November -Leigh - 18:40

It had been a busy little November for the right and wrong reasons so my cinema visits had been cut short, so short that in the final few days of the month, I still hadn't been to the silver screen

To be honest, there was not much that had tickled my fancy, so missing out was not really a big thing.  I knew I would be making up for it in December with a little cult film called Star Wars coming out...you may have heard of it?

So I packed Clare off the the in-laws and settled her in for a night of Strictly Come Dancing and the X-Factor and headed of to my local world of Cine for the next Pixar installment, The Good Dinosaur.

Thankfully, most of the kids were also snuggled at home watching car crash TV so the screen was occupied by the more elderly than the chaotic.

When Arlo is separated from his father. in a very similar style to Mustapha and Simba in the Lion King, he must team up with caveboy Spot in order to make it back home to his family.  Perilous challenges await him on his journey back and he must put aside the fear he once had and become brave and strong like his father.

When I say perilous, I really mean perilous.  There are a fair few gruesome villains, treacherous situations and real life or death encounters for Arlo and Spot, ones that a younger Pixar loving viewer may be petrified to watch.  The story is run of the mill Disney and borrows a lot from previous installments bringing very little new to the adventure, but I still had fun with it.  One scene involving prairie dogs had me chortling out loud, but there are a fair few moment bereft of laughter that is accustomed with Pixar Films.

This is no where near the same standard as Toy Story 2, Wall-E or more recently Inside Out, but it is still far more entertaining that most of the drivel coming out at the moment.  Hence the slow cinema month.

The Last Witch Hunter

2nd November 12:20 - Bolton

With a video game feel and over the top action, TLW is a film you can watch without really watching or noticing it's there....unfortunately, I was sat in the cinema not pottering about at home.

Vin Diesel brings his acting power class, grumbling his lines through another franchise wannabe.  This time joined by Micheal "phone it in" Caine and Harry "Radcliffe" Potter as his new protege.  When a witch queen is killed by Mr Diesel in some far forgotten time, he is cursed to forever walk the earth.  He devotes all this time to becoming a witch hunter who cannot die, hence him being the last.  When strange magic is afoot, he must recruit his young protege and reluctant wicker to help in the battle of evil.

There is nothing new about this film, everything has been seen, done and done again, but again there is nothing wrong with it.  It is a film that you can forget about almost immediately, a film that can be merged into multiple other films so that you actually forget what you watched.

Michael Caine spends most of the film in a state of coma and the times when he is awake do not feel much different.  Mr Potter's character is obviously indecent from the start, but the films holds off till the climax for a big reveal.  I could say that this is a spoiler, but the film does that itself!

Spectre

Saturday 31st October: Leigh: 19:00

Everyone's favourite serial rapist and alcoholic is back, and this time it is his destiny

After the enjoyable Spkyfall, although it's ridiculous Home Alone style ending, and all the hype surrounding Bond's new adventure I was eagerly waiting what lay ahead.  Gratuitous product placement, over the top villains and henchmen and frikkin sharks with frikkin laser beams.

The opening scene in Mexico is awesome, straight to the point and with an aerial stunt show that was truly breathtaking....then it all just kind of stopped, slowed right down and then that was it for another 2 hours, just nothing.

The Daniel Craig Bond series has all been leading to this, everything that has happened has been orchestrated by one person.  All the villains he has encountered have all been pawns in Blofeld Oberhauser's main plan of revenge.  I'm sorry, but what happened to the classic style of Bond going doing a mission with an over the top bad guy and his ridiculous henchmen, elaborate ways of torture and non-connective story lines?  Why does it all have to be destiny and foreshadowing? Bond is about a mission to stop world domination from a maniacal badguy that has plans to destroy the world's gold or cornering the market of microchips, with henchmen that are ridiculous yet brilliant, a man with a razor sharp hat, razor teeth, or so little they can hide in boxes.

Dave Bautista henchman enters the room as a formidable force and is quickly subject to a slow/fast car chase scene through the streets of Rome, he then keeps turning up time after time at Bond's heels and offers serious threat.  He is underutilised throughout the film, he could have been this series' answer to Odd Job or Jaws.

I was sat in a full audience at Cineworld Leigh and next to me was a pure Bond fan, he whooped at the references to bonds of old and hollered at new gadgets added to the arsenal but when the big reveal happened, the one that no one expected, his gasp of shock and awe could have been heard in cinema's across the land.  I felt like turning to him at this point and saying, "You are obviously a Bond fan, was this "reveal" not evident to you from the very beginning, even from the trailer you obviously watched to get you here!?", it is the worst shock reveal since Khan.  I laughed at the ridiculousness of it all, I'm sorry, I am a mediocre fan, I have enjoyed Bond through the ages, but I saw that coming months and months ago so it was hardly a shock!

Spectre seems to have all the fanboys and license to kill bias on it's side and I feel that I will be in the minority for not liking this film, but I am happy to stay in this minority.  There are far more enjoyable films out there with similar styles that just do it better.

Let me just put this out there, after an opening aerial spectacular our loveable hero must go rogue to stop a rouge nation of criminals from causing destruction around the planet.  He must team up with his computer geek and technical wizard colleague and a mysterious women with hidden agenda.  All sound a little familiar? The only difference is, this one was a fun and enjoyable romp, whereas Spectre was just a little dull.





It is always a boost of ego when someone else notices a similar trend and reports on it.
I watch a few movie reviewers on youtube and Schmoes Know said pretty much what I said in this review..even including the Mission Impossible connections